Shock is still fun. I won't ever shut the door on it. -- Nicholas Cage

Close encounter with a mouse today, it was hard to tell which one of us was more scared...

Wine is sunlight, held together by water. -- Galileo

Strangely enough, I woke up this morning with a sudden epiphany suspecting that life on so many levels, assimilates drinking. And why was I pondering about alcohol at 7am in the morning? Well, you got me.


After watching The Descendants yesterday (first of all, I have to say the name of the film is slightly deceiving), I left the cinema with a mixed bag of subtle, and understated emotions. Life is not perfect, and the movie exactly portrays that. The feelings of bitterness, sadness, and hopefulness combined with an unusual sense of relief and acceptance made me beginning to see why this movie scored many awards and nominations. It is not because the story is extraordinary, but only because it is so ordinary, that it can easily be the life of mine, the life of yours, or the life of anyone else's. The difference will only be reflected in how we perceive the things which happen to us, and our attitudes toward them.


This leads me back to thinking that life is not a tea party, it is not always wonderful, not always fun. However perhaps, we can compare it to drinking at a bar. :P


Scenario 1


You have had a good day, caught up with your friends, having a few drinks, sharing some good conversations and enjoying a good time. And what's more, your favourite drinks are on their happy hour specials. Good drinks, good atmosphere, and good company. And most importantly, you just know everything is falling into place. Don't we all have times when we feel we are at the right place at the right time with the right people? You are doing everything right, whether consciously, or without any efforts. These are the times when you embrace life, and life embraces you back.


Scenario 2


Now let's suppose this. You have had a bad day, stumbled into a bar that serves terrible and terribly overpriced drinks, and got stuck talking to people you feel extremely uncomfortable with. And what's made it worse, you also felt you got peer pressured into drinking more than you could chew (should I perhaps say, digest in this case?) and woke up the next day with a big hangover. And what do you decide to do? Try and erase any recollections of what had happened and just get on with it? Swear never to repeat the same stupid mistakes but somehow you attract the exact circumstances again? Or do you analyse what you could have done to prevent a potential disastrous consequence next time by 1. sticking to the same bar you have always gone to 2. bringing your friends and staying within your comfort zone 3. saying no when you need to?


Can you perhaps see what this is eluding to? In our scenario 2, we can't change the past of what had happened, but we can always alter our reactions and attitudes towards the experiences and create new experiences. I am not judging which one of the responses is preferred, they equally contribute to our defensive mechanisms and unique to the individual. And maybe any one of them is appropriate at different times for dealing with different issues.


But can you see that scenario 2 can easily overlaps and be translated into scenario 1, or scenario 3? 


Scenario 3


You have had a bad day, stumbled into a bar, instead of ordering the same drink you always get, you decided to be adventurous and picked something the bartender recommended, it turned out to be much better than your expectation. You were also approached by a certain group of people whom you would not normally socialise with, ok, you thought to yourself, what's the worst that can happen, let's see what we have in common. And you found out that you are all die-hard fans of Apple and happily exchanged gadgety tips for hours. Surprisingly overall, you ended up having a good time.


Things are intertwined in ways that are unimaginable, beyond our normal comprehension. This is what I find so fascinating, and I will always be on a quest for answers, or perhaps, to recognise that there exist no answers, or at least, no absolute answers.

All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth. -- Friedrich Nietzsche

OK, I had decided on my new year resolution, and we are already into mid-Jan, however I am still in a reflective mood. 


I wonder if this is because of the Sun is currently transiting through my 12th house hence teaching me to withdraw and recuperate in order to regain momentum. Please ignore if you think this is astrology nonsense, and maybe you are right. Astrology should be utilised in finding justifications and meanings into things that are not apparent or evident on the surface, and it can be great assistance for realising a healthy perspective. But it should not be abused or misused, and I remind myself of this. Delving too deep into it or intellectualising too much of it instead can only distract ourselves from the actual experience, and the meanings to the experience. This then defeats its original purpose and intentions. So like most things, it is about balance, isn't it? 


One of the lessons I had to contend with last year was discerning the right balance between the inner reality and the outer reality. 


The action of internalising ideas, thoughts and emotion is an important process to the inner evolvement which precipitates growth, strengthening the conviction and confidence in oneself against any adversity that appears to come from the external. However, overly emphasising inner experience with disregard to the outer world only encourages one to perpetuate in the realm of imagination. This denies one from facing the physical reality, eventually the delusion will catch up to result in disappointment and discontentment.


On the other side, our physical senses provide a basis for human connections and understanding with minimal individual disposition, and this experience of the outer phenomenon in return triggers various forms and shapes of ideas, thoughts and emotions in the individual.     


Neither is one more important than the other, and nor is one separate from the other. 


Speaking of this reminds me of the one thing that had evoked me with a profound resonance after reading Sophie's World very long ago. At the time, without in-depth comprehension, I was already puzzled by this seemingly contradictory view on reality imparted by the two great thinkers, Plato and Aristotle. Plato believed the ultimate reality resides in the mind, ideal and reasoning power, sensory observation of the ever-changing world of phenomena only alludes to an implication of the reality, rather than the reality itself. Hence he said


"When the mind's eye rests on objects illuminated by truth and reality, it understands and comprehends them, and functions intelligently; but when it turns to the twilight world of change and decay, it can only form opinions, its vision is confused and its beliefs shifting, and it seems to lack intelligence." -- Plato




Whereas Aristotle rejected this view and concentrated instead on identification with nature, substance and concrete objects of the world. To him, these primary substances hold fundamental truth to meanings, hence they give meanings to the reality. His relative scientific orientation prompted him towards understanding truth based on metaphysics, the operating and functioning of external existence of substance. Hence he said


"The first philosophy (Metaphysics) is universal and is exclusively concerned with primary substance. ... And here we will have the science to study that which is just as that which is, both in its essence and in the properties which, just as a thing that is, it has." -- Aristotle


Perhaps, we will put more weight on experiencing one or the other  during different stages of our life. But with this split, we can only hope to learn to reconcile and merge the two, by not losing sight of both, gradually creating a close-to-perfect marriage between the inner and the outer. 

I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand. -- Confucius

Have you ever paid close attention to the lunar phase, the cyclical waning and waxing of the moon? 

New moon commonly has the connotation of a new beginning, as it is often associated with the birth of something new. Full moon on the other hand embodies the aspects and manifestation of endings and completions. 


Like the moon, certain things are ordained and irrevocable as they form part of the natural cycle of life. 


Don't we all love my stick figure illustrations? Saves me from all the incessant babbling...

De-cluttering and re-prioritisation are always required when there is too much of a good thing. Only when the old has been removed to make room, new potentials and opportunities can then emanate and materialise. 


The inevitable outcome of over expansion is contraction. And the eventual result of stagnation and constriction on the contrary, is the process towards culmination.

This one is self-explantory too. When we seem to be stuck at the bottom of the hill, it is obvious that the only direction is to slowly climb back up. Through hard work and determination, we achieve our goals and get back onto the top. From there the process of balancing and re-balancing continues.


Losing something is never pleasant nor easy, and neither is the labor towards accumulation. Buddhism teaches us detachment because nothing in life is permanent, and the way to attaining equilibrium and inner peace is through accepting change is always present in the external world. Taoism emphases on finding path through the realisation of counterbalance and opposite polarities in nature, and not attempting to defy this rule by calmly going withe the ebb and flow.   


If we can gradually learn to acknowledge, accept or even embrace  this uncontrollable factor of life, may valuable lessons be gained from it, hopefully enabling us with choosability in this inevitability.  

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. -- Oscar Wilde

Knowledge cannot substitute for experience, and experience does not equate to wisdom.


Knowledge, experience and wisdom are all equally important in their own rights. 


I have gained some insight into the importance of incorporating all three this year, and I hope to continue to learn to do so.


May all our wishes and dreams carry us forward into the new year.

We don't know where our first impressions come from or precisely what they mean, so we don't always appreciate their fragility. -- Malcolm Gladwell

I had encountered an episode today that prompted me to question the whole constitution and validity of a first impression.


Sometimes a first impression can be uncannily accurate while at other times unfortunately misleading. Although we emphasise that we all shouldn't judge a book by its cover, most of us tend to have our mind made up about a person within the first few minutes of interaction. This is not to suggest that our subsequent impressions are promised to remain static and will not alter, but first impressions do carry indubitable weight towards the initial perception. 


Perhaps a first impression can be understood in the context of probable specific elements that get registered. Is it the voice? The appearance? Social etiquette?  Facial expression? How and what has been conversed? The body language? Or is it to do with how the other person actually make us feel about ourselves?


It may quite well be based on the combination of all of the above. It has been established previously that we are all unique in our orientations, and, we perceive the world in relations to our own values, instinctive nature and our immediate environment, therefore, I am more comfortable with conjecturing that our first impressions on the same object will differ due to the inevitable inclination to be subjective.


Astrologically (Ha, you know I would have to tie it back to astrology), it is represented by the Ascendant, which is the beginning of the first house and what we project out into the world, consequently, how others see us. Again, we all have our own unique ascendants, as the time of birth is critical in determining its zodiac sign hence the qualities we consciously or unconsciously project. It may be easier to understand this if we think of the importance of the birth time underlies the meaning of the instance we were first brought into this world. 

We still cannot deduce with confidence about how a person sets out to achieve an initial impression by solely examining the sign of the ascendant. This is further complicated by the different aspects that an ascendant makes with the other planets in the birth chart that could potentially modify its expression and behaviour.


The Sun sign also points to various characteristics of the individuality and personality. Supposedly if the Sun and Ascendant are in conflicting elements (i.e. Air and Earth) such as Taurus and Aquarius, we will see a person exhibiting the eccentric, social and unpredictable side of Aquarius, as well as the traditional, stubborn and reliable side of Taurus. In particular for this example, Aquarius generally orientates towards an ideal to improve the future whereas Taurus is simply happy with maintaing the existing structure and status-quo. Although one may hold prominence and suppresses the other, in the long run, this person will be constantly in battle with himself or herself if these contrasting qualities are made unaware. 


It is hard to imagine that we can get the full picture of someone in a glimpse since that we are all multi-faceted.       


We infer then that the first impression cannot be entirely dependent upon to draw a depiction of someone. At the same time however, there is the value in understanding each time what our first impression is and why it is the way it is, as the experience and exploration may lead to uncovering more aspects about our own personalities.

Every man wants to be happy, but in order to be so he needs first to understand what happiness is. -- Jean-Jacques Rousseau

What is happiness to you?

And what is lasting happiness?