"So you will say no if Prince Williams asks you to marry him?" A friend asked me not that long ago and he was incredulous after I confirmed his 'suspicions'.
"I thought every girl's dream is to become a princess." He persisted.
"Not mine. I want to be free to be who I am. Plus... he is half bold." (No offence intentionally. However apparently fish oil helps with early male baldness)
Believe it or not, Cinderella was one of my favourite stories growing up. I have fantasised about a man as charming as a prince who would always come over to my rescue and save me from any miseries. But I cannot help but wonder, would Cinderella and the Prince really live happily ever after?
What if Cinderella idealises the prince and sees him as a saviour to escape from the cruel and harsh reality? Let's suppose that Cinderella sees the prince as her ultimate salvation, and he in turn colludes with her in order derives potency from her emotional dependency on him, can you imagine where this might lead to?
Not hard to see, a relationship that is built upon deception will not last. It points to a not so nice ending to the original fairytale. Cinderella 'evades' to form her own sense of identity whilst the prince unconsciously 'encourages' it for his own agenda, this replays a typical victim martyr situation. It reminds me of the blind leading the blind.
This maybe much exaggerated, the story may simply be about pure love and two people finding soulmate in each other. But the question is, if we seek for another person to complete us, will we really feel complete and for how long? Can we truly be happy if we let others to fix our problems? And is it possible for us to feel whole with someone if we are not already whole?
Just the other day, a revelation hit me. There is probably no knight in shining armour, and even if there is, he very likely needs saving himself. You can laugh, but for someone who prefers to dream and fantasise, I was thoroughly depressed by the realisation afterwards. Afraid to be stifled by the mundane and routine, I had always felt thinking practically or realistically suffocates too much of my creativity and imagination. I am used to dreaming about unlimited possibilities and all different adventures, but now I suddenly stand facing the confrontation and confinement of the basic reality. It feels like an arrow had come at lightening speed and shot me back down to earth so I can learn to be grounded. Whether it is wanting something to change or desiring something new, we must act or do to make that happen, rarely it will fall from the sky and drop onto our laps. After realising this, a sense of loss immediately came over me. Only it wasn't lost, it was transformed. We can not lose a part of ourself that we love. The optimism and hopeful spirit that I have always treasured are still there, but they have made room for the co-existence and integration of sensibleness and pragmatism.
We must not be afraid to aspire and aim for something big to realise our true potential. At the same time, we need to take achievable steps to attaining our dreams, otherwise, they become delusions, and remain as ... just dreams. The power to save ourselves only lies in ourselves.
Conversely a lot of the times, we also feel the urge to save the other people who are in trouble, especially the ones we love. We cannot bear to see them suffer so we want to put them in bubble wraps and protect them from all 'harm'. But giving someone what they need or telling someone what they want to hear is not conducive to their growth. And we must also question our motive, are we doing this for them or for ourselves? Do we desire to save someone so we can feel special or feel powerful or feel needed? Maybe we are the ones that need to be saved by the act of saving someone else?
Now I am getting tongue-tied, but I hope you have got my point. The intention to save or wanting to be saved may temporarily release us from pain, but the effects will not last in the long term. True, we cannot always get it right the first time. We try and we fail, then we try again. We learn through other people and become more aware of ourselves. We have the capacity to exceed our own expectations, so we need to have faith in our ability to overcoming any difficult times.
However, it is also good to remember that in this world we are not alone. I believe we can all find someone who unconditionally accepts us the way we are, but gives a gentle nudge when we lack momentum, allows us the patience and freedom to deal with our own issues, and most importantly, has greater faith and confidence in us than what we seem to at times have for ourselves. I am very fortunate to not have found just one but several.
Tuesday 27 September 2011
Thursday 22 September 2011
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. -- Aristotle
I debated whether still to write a post tonight after watching Glee. I tend to become more sensitive and idealistic after listening to music, therefore I doubt if an objective or broad perspective will be kept in check. Then again, the posts are meant to reflect exactly how I feel, how I think and how I see it at that particular point in time. Rational or irrational, objective or subjective, relevant or irrelevant, they should reflect my state of being in the Now.
Ok, after spending sometime justifying myself we can finally get on.
For some time now, I have found patience to be both a valuable friend and a horrific enemy. It is what I have been learning to cultivate the most in the past year or two.
Patience is what we need when we face adverse situations. It gives us enough time to reflect and learn the lessons required, and it provides the strength that we would always be able to find within ourselves in order to carry on.
Patience is also what we need when we desperately wish to see our desires being manifested into physical reality. It teaches us to look internally for answers and most importantly to have faith and belief.
Whether we are saddened by events which had happened in the past or waiting for things to unfold at in the future, we want patience to be on our side.
Yes, patience is bittersweet, and it certainly has been that way for me.
And just to throw in there a bit of astrology to make it interesting, patience is generally associated with Saturn, the hard teacher planet. When Saturn transits and aspects (makes an angle) with one of the personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars), and specifically the Sun which represents the ego and identity, there is usually a period of frustration deeply felt as a result of impotence uncovered in the person himself. These frustrations are at first directed to the outside because we feel restrictions are placed upon us by someone or something else, and later we begin to acknowledge these limitations exist within ourselves, and only then the process can begin - clearing out the old to make room for the new.
A few well-known astrologers including Liz Greene have expressed the notion that there exist different levels of realisation of an event manifestation. An event that has happened may not trigger an immediate emotional response if the person is not attuned to their feelings, or if the feelings have been repressed. Strong emotions may only come out and truly impacts the person until the event has passed much later. Conversely, if a person perceives some great insights, but if the timing or environment is not 'ready', nothing will be actualised in the material sense.
Patience teaches us what we need in order to integrate and comprehend the spiritual and emotional needs within ourselves so that we can be in sync with the environment, the collective unconsciousness, to transform our thoughts and ideas into the physical world.
It is something that I am learning and will probably always continue to learn. It has greatly put my values and believes to test, and self-doubt can be paramount at times, but I have learnt to accept this as a necessary phase in preparation for the growth and expansion to come.
"He who has overcome his fears will truly be free." -- Aristotle
Ok, after spending sometime justifying myself we can finally get on.
For some time now, I have found patience to be both a valuable friend and a horrific enemy. It is what I have been learning to cultivate the most in the past year or two.
Patience is what we need when we face adverse situations. It gives us enough time to reflect and learn the lessons required, and it provides the strength that we would always be able to find within ourselves in order to carry on.
Patience is also what we need when we desperately wish to see our desires being manifested into physical reality. It teaches us to look internally for answers and most importantly to have faith and belief.
Whether we are saddened by events which had happened in the past or waiting for things to unfold at in the future, we want patience to be on our side.
Yes, patience is bittersweet, and it certainly has been that way for me.
And just to throw in there a bit of astrology to make it interesting, patience is generally associated with Saturn, the hard teacher planet. When Saturn transits and aspects (makes an angle) with one of the personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars), and specifically the Sun which represents the ego and identity, there is usually a period of frustration deeply felt as a result of impotence uncovered in the person himself. These frustrations are at first directed to the outside because we feel restrictions are placed upon us by someone or something else, and later we begin to acknowledge these limitations exist within ourselves, and only then the process can begin - clearing out the old to make room for the new.
A few well-known astrologers including Liz Greene have expressed the notion that there exist different levels of realisation of an event manifestation. An event that has happened may not trigger an immediate emotional response if the person is not attuned to their feelings, or if the feelings have been repressed. Strong emotions may only come out and truly impacts the person until the event has passed much later. Conversely, if a person perceives some great insights, but if the timing or environment is not 'ready', nothing will be actualised in the material sense.
Patience teaches us what we need in order to integrate and comprehend the spiritual and emotional needs within ourselves so that we can be in sync with the environment, the collective unconsciousness, to transform our thoughts and ideas into the physical world.
It is something that I am learning and will probably always continue to learn. It has greatly put my values and believes to test, and self-doubt can be paramount at times, but I have learnt to accept this as a necessary phase in preparation for the growth and expansion to come.
"He who has overcome his fears will truly be free." -- Aristotle
Monday 19 September 2011
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. -- Alice Morse Earle
I have a question. Do you think only the present is what truly matters?
I have briefly touched on the concept of predisposition in the previous blog. Based on different personality types, it is not difficult to notice that some of us prefer to live in the possibilities presented by the future, some choose to dwell on the past, and while some can better remain in the here and now.
This can also be linked to the three modes of expression or Quadruplicities explained in astrology: Cardinal, Fixed and Mutable.
Cardinal signs include Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. They indicate and symbolise for new beginnings with each governing or representing a different sphere of life. Initiations and starting new things are connotations for these signs. They are forward looking.
Fixed signs include Taurus, Scorpio, Leo and Aquarius. They are characterised by stability and security. They are concerned with maintaining something (whether it be a house, a person or an idea, etc), and they do not like to upset the status quo.
Mutable signs include the remaining 4 zodiac signs, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces. Their emphasis is on adaptability and accepting changes as they come.
We can draw the connection of the three different modes with future, past and present.
However, before you jump into conclusion basing on the above and yell out 'This is all wrong, it doesn't describe me!', you need to note that by solely looking at your Sun sign(based on your birth month) is not sufficient in deriving an accurate picture of your personal orientation. A closer look must be done involving all the other planets(Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and pluto). For example, you may be an Aries who is supposedly happy about initiating changes, however if you have a stellium (a group of planets) in a fixed sign, then you may be likely to dis-identify the qualities of your Sun sign and be reluctant about making changes.
And the point to that is also, maybe there isn't just one group you can relate to, there maybe two or even three. I know that myself vacillate an awful lot between all three. There are times that I go along and accept that whatever comes is meant to happen, and times that I still hold onto things or people that have perhaps long passed their purpose, and also other times that I rush into decisions for the sake of changing for no apparent reason.
So the question is, are we guaranteed happiness and contentment by living only in the present?
And is it even possible to live in the present at all times?
I believe, and as obvious as it sounds, on a timeline, past, present and future represent the full cycle required for development and integration.
If we only look for the future to bring us what we desire, we may not fully appreciate what we have now, and we undervalue our responsibilities in improving ourselves and the lessons to be gained by understanding past patterns and behaviours. We neglect our own roles in bringing the necessary changes, therefore delaying the desired outcome.
If we only cling onto the past and cannot live in the present for any current situations, we run the risk of going down a spiral of negativity. We will feel empowered by all our past actions and be left with no faith in a brighter future. Well, if we don't believe if something good will happen, it most likely won't.
If we only live in the present or at least try to only concentrate on the present, we may forever live in a constant state of flux and in the end be left unsatisfied with what have not been achieved. We can let external circumstances dominate us if we do not take any opportunity in understanding the Self. The past gives us a sense of where we come from, the future gives us a sense of where we are going, both are needed for us to learn and grow, and to help us to make the best choices and decisions in the Now.
Looking into the past requires courage, looking into the future requires optimism and living in the present requires acceptance. It is tough, but I believe we need to learn to integrate all three. And maybe we just need to realise that we live in this perpetual dilemma. But maybe just by being aware of this may as well be the beginning we need.
I have briefly touched on the concept of predisposition in the previous blog. Based on different personality types, it is not difficult to notice that some of us prefer to live in the possibilities presented by the future, some choose to dwell on the past, and while some can better remain in the here and now.
This can also be linked to the three modes of expression or Quadruplicities explained in astrology: Cardinal, Fixed and Mutable.
Cardinal signs include Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. They indicate and symbolise for new beginnings with each governing or representing a different sphere of life. Initiations and starting new things are connotations for these signs. They are forward looking.
Fixed signs include Taurus, Scorpio, Leo and Aquarius. They are characterised by stability and security. They are concerned with maintaining something (whether it be a house, a person or an idea, etc), and they do not like to upset the status quo.
Mutable signs include the remaining 4 zodiac signs, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces. Their emphasis is on adaptability and accepting changes as they come.
We can draw the connection of the three different modes with future, past and present.
However, before you jump into conclusion basing on the above and yell out 'This is all wrong, it doesn't describe me!', you need to note that by solely looking at your Sun sign(based on your birth month) is not sufficient in deriving an accurate picture of your personal orientation. A closer look must be done involving all the other planets(Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and pluto). For example, you may be an Aries who is supposedly happy about initiating changes, however if you have a stellium (a group of planets) in a fixed sign, then you may be likely to dis-identify the qualities of your Sun sign and be reluctant about making changes.
And the point to that is also, maybe there isn't just one group you can relate to, there maybe two or even three. I know that myself vacillate an awful lot between all three. There are times that I go along and accept that whatever comes is meant to happen, and times that I still hold onto things or people that have perhaps long passed their purpose, and also other times that I rush into decisions for the sake of changing for no apparent reason.
So the question is, are we guaranteed happiness and contentment by living only in the present?
And is it even possible to live in the present at all times?
I believe, and as obvious as it sounds, on a timeline, past, present and future represent the full cycle required for development and integration.
If we only look for the future to bring us what we desire, we may not fully appreciate what we have now, and we undervalue our responsibilities in improving ourselves and the lessons to be gained by understanding past patterns and behaviours. We neglect our own roles in bringing the necessary changes, therefore delaying the desired outcome.
If we only cling onto the past and cannot live in the present for any current situations, we run the risk of going down a spiral of negativity. We will feel empowered by all our past actions and be left with no faith in a brighter future. Well, if we don't believe if something good will happen, it most likely won't.
If we only live in the present or at least try to only concentrate on the present, we may forever live in a constant state of flux and in the end be left unsatisfied with what have not been achieved. We can let external circumstances dominate us if we do not take any opportunity in understanding the Self. The past gives us a sense of where we come from, the future gives us a sense of where we are going, both are needed for us to learn and grow, and to help us to make the best choices and decisions in the Now.
Looking into the past requires courage, looking into the future requires optimism and living in the present requires acceptance. It is tough, but I believe we need to learn to integrate all three. And maybe we just need to realise that we live in this perpetual dilemma. But maybe just by being aware of this may as well be the beginning we need.
Saturday 17 September 2011
A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe", a part limited in time and space -- Albert Einstein
What is true to you? What is the most real to you?
Everyone has their different perceptions on what rings true to them or what they see as being important. Even physical reality can appear to be a unique experience for the individual as it is interpreted via one's own internal lenses. For example, you may recall having referred to something you had seen as blue while another person corrected you and called it green, and none of you is a colour-blind. So you see, there can possibly be different variations for the same object, as what we see is coloured by what we believe in and what we project onto them.
Astrologically and psychologically speaking, every person has certain innate predispositions thereby affecting or influencing the attitudes and quality of their experiences. This is explained by the great psychologist C.G.Jung as people attributing to different archetypes, or in astrology, this would be associated with the predominance of an element in a natal chart. (Fire - motivated by actions and new beginnings, Earth - value possessions and security, Air - rely on logical thinking and rationalisation, Water - driven by emotions and the urge to blend and merge)
Before we go on any further, I would like to point out the things about astrology which you may have been falsely lead to believe. It is a valuable tool to be used for gaining further understanding on the self, and can also become great assistance in uncovering or revealing potentials, motives and unconsciousness. There is nothing which can absolutely accurately predict the future as we do have our free wills. Or perhaps as C.G.Jung put it "Free will is doing gladly and freely that which one must do", because we cannot deny that perhaps sometime only looking back we then realise that there is a reason behind and things work out the way as planned. In unimaginable ways, people are interconnected and intertwined as we all exist in the same yet ever changing Universe.
Jumping back to predispositions, an example would be that if you always perceive your mother to be controlling, it is possible that she may not be that type of person, yet your unconscious bias towards her makes her act out that part of herself since what we are not aware of which we project onto others. And consequently, because of your belief so that will be what you experience through her, and the times when she acts controlling will particularly register with you therefore further confirming your belief. Conversely, a strong like or dislike may not even arise if you have not personally experienced it. If you see certain behaviours in others which make you upset or angry, then it may be time to find those disturbance within yourself. I remember saying to a friend a long time ago that I really dislike someone being late, and it was only later that I realised that it is a part of me that I disowned and refused to change.
I guess we shouldn't underestimate the power of our own creation.
Is there really a higher order at work then? Are we really being looked after by the Universe?
There are people who have a fear in acknowledging that there are things which are just outside of their control, or there are destinies or paths which cannot be altered. Opening up to this idea may possibly mean that they will have to throw out their old believes and their total reliance on the self. At the same time, there are others who incline towards this because they want to belong to something larger, they want to believe that we are not just all here by accident, there is a purpose to all that which we experience and a deeper meaning to our own existence. This may help them to transcend from the seemingly mundane world into a perhaps higher reality of spirituality, but at the same time they run the risk of being too optimistic and not taking enough responsibilities for their own actions.
What we perceive to be true is relative and there is no objective truth.
However, what is important is to get to know yourself, embrace and accept both the "good" and "bad" (again, all relative), do not deny or condemn any parts of you, and only through that, you become free to be and grow.
Friday 16 September 2011
Where it all begins...
A few of you have been encouraging me to note down my thoughts for a while now. Stubbornly, I did not see the value in such considering the time it would require. Now I believe maybe those passing or fleeting thoughts are worth capturing as I am fascinated by this journey of self evolvement for deeper understanding, and I would really like to take you along with me.
I am not sure how long this blog will be maintained or how frequently it will be updated. Thinking back, I would have got about 5 different diaries lying around each with 2 or 3 pages of writings in them. So if you have not figured it out already, constancy is not particularly one of my strong points. All I have to say is don't get too disappointed if you get up at 5am eagerly looking for new updates!
This blog is not aimed to be light or entertaining, but I hope some of the insights and stories that I have read upon/realised/discovered may help you in small ways, or may bring a smile onto your face :)
I am not sure how long this blog will be maintained or how frequently it will be updated. Thinking back, I would have got about 5 different diaries lying around each with 2 or 3 pages of writings in them. So if you have not figured it out already, constancy is not particularly one of my strong points. All I have to say is don't get too disappointed if you get up at 5am eagerly looking for new updates!
This blog is not aimed to be light or entertaining, but I hope some of the insights and stories that I have read upon/realised/discovered may help you in small ways, or may bring a smile onto your face :)
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