What they had in common was a sense of courage, to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. -- Brene Brown

Indeed, clarity did present itself as soon as Venus finished its transit through my 4th house. 

What does being vulnerable really mean? As Brene Brown suggested, perhaps it is different things to different people, but ultimately it is about leaving yourself exposed, heart open. 


Sure, it can be painful especially if we were not initially met by welcoming responses and experiences, or if we seek for reassurance or validation of our own selves from others. This is because other people also do not truly know or fully accept of themselves. 


Therefore, before we can expect others to reflect the world of our own perfections, we need to learn to be honest with ourselves, and completely love and accept all that we are. 

The time of Fable is over, the time of History has begun. -- Josephine

Until recently, I had never learnt to truly appreciate the value of history. The present beholds happiness, and the future promises infinite possibilities, what is the purpose of examining and dwelling on things that have already occurred? So I believed.


Random events that happened in the past few weeks however gave me a window to look into my own past, an opportunity to look into my own long forgotten history. As I sought for meanings and answers, again, astrology does not disappoint me. This occurring is coincidental to Venus (which configures prominently in my chart) transiting through the 4th house, which amongst other things, represents our roots, earlier conditionings and the past. In a sense, with Venus illuminating that particular area of life, it evoked more of the deeper emotional patterns and unconscious responses to surface into awareness, hence offering better integration into the psyche. Although at first uncomfortable, I could not resist what had been asked of me hence decidedly putting myself under the microscope. 


The finding, perhaps surprisingly, brought out that some of my present behavioural patterns, and most importantly values, are still in consistency with those that I had held a long time ago. The understanding of the norm is that people change, as we encounter roadblocks and adapt to circumstances, we learn and we grow and we become different. But maybe there are parts of us which prevail relentlessly constant. So should I congratulate myself for staying true to the core of who I am, or are there repeatable lessons still to come until I get it 'right'? To what extent can we allow ourselves to be changed yet remaining authentic and true? 


So the past does come back to haunt us. Time is not as linear as I had imagined; past, present and future are multi dimensioned and inter-layered in such a way that they continue to influence one and another. This brings to mind what George Orwell had once said, 'Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.'


Any consequences resulted from decisions made in the past are irreversible and irrevocable. So what exactly are we supposed to learn? What does history really teach us?


Perhaps because Venus has not finished gracing through my 4th house, although a lot of reevaluations are undertaken, I do not yet have an answer. Buoyantly hopeful however, clarity will eventually present itself.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live. -- Jean-Paul Sartre

I have always wondered, we have been taught various important subjects such as maths, sciences and languages at school, why is there not a subject taught on life empowerment or creating the life you desire? 

Life perhaps is the biggest lesson of all in itself. Although I agree that it is not a formulae, and there may not be one fundamental that applies to all, there are some underlying themes which connect us and are universal. For example, the empathy for pain and the yearning for acceptance and love. And there are qualities that we all value such as honesty, integrity or bravery.

So, I wonder, would my life have been drastically different to now if I had been encouraged to discover myself at a young age? Would I have been able to prevent or avoid some of the pitfalls encountered if I had been exposed to these teachings from early on? 

Maybe yes, maybe no.

Coincidentally, what I have become to realise is that the more conscious you become of yourself, the more awareness you gain towards the divine pattern in life. 

This seems contradictory at a glance. What comes with knowledge and consciousness should be enlightenment and free will, the better ability to perceive choices which lead to greater discernment. But at the same time, it also opens up the cognisance and insight into the inevitable, the inescapable, the destiny, which we must follow. Does true separation exist between one and another? Although we remain as seemingly distinct individuals, yet our lives with others are intertwined. The most wonderful analogy I have come across is to imagine yourself as a strand in a knitted jumper, if we pull on any other strand, we are also affected. Hence, the inconclusive debate that has perplexed so many philosophers, fate vs. free will. 

What has inspired (caused) me to write this is the unforgettable experience as a volunteer today at the Reach program, Heroes Day http://www.reach.org.au/. The whole day workshops helped Year 9 students to break down facade, remove barriers, and allow a glimpse of their true inner selves to shine through to others as well as to themselves. The objective is to teach the students not to be identified with just the exteriors or the ego self, but to find out who they truly are. 

The journey of a hero (or heroine), as the name suggests, is never an easy one. There must be obstacles and challenges along the way to help him or her to reveal the courage, faith and strength inside themselves to finally overcome the impossibles. This is perhaps why we love to champion the underdogs and prefer a come back story than an effortless victory.

In his book The Magic Thread, astrologer Richard Idemon differentiates the Hero from all the rest as one who girds the sword and goes out and says, "I challenge my life." He or she must journey through the underground, slay the dragon, in order to rise back up. And often, what we meet to confront is the inner 'demons', our preconceptions which no longer serve our higher purpose.

This person who is able to acknowledge and integrate different parts within themselves, Richard calls him or her the twice born. If I may, I'd like to take this further. It is a constant and ongoing process of 'tearing down' and rebuild. Continuing adjustments and alignments is required for procreation and balance as life itself is cyclical. 

Coming back to my earlier question, is it therefore possible to access only pleasure and bypass pain if we had acquired this understanding? 

Light cannot exist without darkness. Similarly, true joy may never be uncovered if pain has not been accepted or released. These are all assets given to the Hero on the journey of becoming.

Dreams are impartial, spontaneous products of the unconscious psyche, outside the control of the will. -- Carl Gustav Jung

Dreams intrigue me. I am endlessly fascinated by them. 


Dream interpretation has always been an integral and notable component of psychoanalysis. Both Jung and Freud practised it extensively in their dealings with patients, for I recommend Jung's Memories, Dreams, Reflections and Freud's The Interpretation Of Dreams. These books are excellent resources towards understanding principals and works by the two masters of psychology, even though I am ashamed to admit that I have yet made an attempt to finish them.


Dreams are messages put forward by our subconscious mind after we quiet down from all the noises and activities during the day. This is when we become most receptive and open to the subconscious and unconscious. Understanding dreams can be of great assistance towards tapping into the past, present and future as well as understanding our own personality makeup and development. Some may argue, but what I have come to realise is that the literal translation of dream symbols is only secondary. We should be paying attention to how we feel during and after the dreams, whether it is exhilarating, entertaining or exasperating, or all of the mentioned emotions combined. 


For one who has a rich imagination such as me, you can only envy the sort of adventures I embark upon in a dream state. So here is a snippet of the dream I had lately:


Day 1

 Day 2

What are your thoughts on interpreting this dream?


Two of my friends have kindly offered their interpretations on what it could mean:


1. Path to higher spiritual evolution and understanding


2. Silence is gold


Interesting.


OK. Perhaps not every dream must mean something, but for me, the fun is sometimes in the pondering. 


After some moments of deliberation, indecision hence reaching no conclusion, all of a sudden, it had occurred to me. Maybe what I can take away from this dream is the message of learning to TRUST. 


We don't always know what is happening around us or where we are going in life, but we can learn not to be afraid of the unknown.  We may not be clear on the how and why and what at certain points during the stage of our development, but it is OKAY to not to know everything. Eventually, the veil will be lifted, the answers will be revealed and the necessary guidance will be delivered to help us make our way forward. All in good time.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -- Buddha

Hello Blog, long time no see. 

I have been away, and that is because a few months back I had decided it was time for me to walk the talk, meaning, putting the fundamental values and knowledge I have gathered into place, and into action. And we all know, this presents a challenge as it is always easier said than done. So as I commit (sometimes hesitantly) myself to this ongoing process of self mastery, the biggest and the most rewarding lesson so far has been learning to love and accept myself for all that I am. Despite and including the imperfections.

Shock is still fun. I won't ever shut the door on it. -- Nicholas Cage

Close encounter with a mouse today, it was hard to tell which one of us was more scared...

Wine is sunlight, held together by water. -- Galileo

Strangely enough, I woke up this morning with a sudden epiphany suspecting that life on so many levels, assimilates drinking. And why was I pondering about alcohol at 7am in the morning? Well, you got me.


After watching The Descendants yesterday (first of all, I have to say the name of the film is slightly deceiving), I left the cinema with a mixed bag of subtle, and understated emotions. Life is not perfect, and the movie exactly portrays that. The feelings of bitterness, sadness, and hopefulness combined with an unusual sense of relief and acceptance made me beginning to see why this movie scored many awards and nominations. It is not because the story is extraordinary, but only because it is so ordinary, that it can easily be the life of mine, the life of yours, or the life of anyone else's. The difference will only be reflected in how we perceive the things which happen to us, and our attitudes toward them.


This leads me back to thinking that life is not a tea party, it is not always wonderful, not always fun. However perhaps, we can compare it to drinking at a bar. :P


Scenario 1


You have had a good day, caught up with your friends, having a few drinks, sharing some good conversations and enjoying a good time. And what's more, your favourite drinks are on their happy hour specials. Good drinks, good atmosphere, and good company. And most importantly, you just know everything is falling into place. Don't we all have times when we feel we are at the right place at the right time with the right people? You are doing everything right, whether consciously, or without any efforts. These are the times when you embrace life, and life embraces you back.


Scenario 2


Now let's suppose this. You have had a bad day, stumbled into a bar that serves terrible and terribly overpriced drinks, and got stuck talking to people you feel extremely uncomfortable with. And what's made it worse, you also felt you got peer pressured into drinking more than you could chew (should I perhaps say, digest in this case?) and woke up the next day with a big hangover. And what do you decide to do? Try and erase any recollections of what had happened and just get on with it? Swear never to repeat the same stupid mistakes but somehow you attract the exact circumstances again? Or do you analyse what you could have done to prevent a potential disastrous consequence next time by 1. sticking to the same bar you have always gone to 2. bringing your friends and staying within your comfort zone 3. saying no when you need to?


Can you perhaps see what this is eluding to? In our scenario 2, we can't change the past of what had happened, but we can always alter our reactions and attitudes towards the experiences and create new experiences. I am not judging which one of the responses is preferred, they equally contribute to our defensive mechanisms and unique to the individual. And maybe any one of them is appropriate at different times for dealing with different issues.


But can you see that scenario 2 can easily overlaps and be translated into scenario 1, or scenario 3? 


Scenario 3


You have had a bad day, stumbled into a bar, instead of ordering the same drink you always get, you decided to be adventurous and picked something the bartender recommended, it turned out to be much better than your expectation. You were also approached by a certain group of people whom you would not normally socialise with, ok, you thought to yourself, what's the worst that can happen, let's see what we have in common. And you found out that you are all die-hard fans of Apple and happily exchanged gadgety tips for hours. Surprisingly overall, you ended up having a good time.


Things are intertwined in ways that are unimaginable, beyond our normal comprehension. This is what I find so fascinating, and I will always be on a quest for answers, or perhaps, to recognise that there exist no answers, or at least, no absolute answers.