Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. -- John Gray

But are they?

I have always known this book to be a popular hit (amongst female readers mostly I suppose), but was never interested until some months ago noticing it in the shop. I have to admit that I was impressed after finish reading it, because it perfectly explained the behavioural differences that separate men from women which to me before seemed so incomprehensible. The author has a good observation and understanding as to why men act one way, and women the other, and especially what motivates one and not the other. (Obviously some exceptions excluded)

But do we really come from distinctly different planets? 

Astrologically speaking, each of us has a Venus and a Mars. The signs which these two planets reside in (Aries to Pisces) and the types of aspects they form tell us a lot about what we find attractive (Venus) and how we go about getting them (Mars). Although this is a much simpler interpretation, but as a general rule, Venus shows what we find pleasing and how we please others, whilst Mars is about how we assert our will and ourselves.

Most of the psychological astrology books that I have read up on recently share the common theme that our relationships represent as a mirror for ourselves. The qualities that we repress or deny are likely to be found in others whom we have close relationships with. I guess this must be mean when opposites attract. We feel inevitably drawn towards to people who are different from us, but at the same time paradoxically, we can be repelled by these dissimilarities. This is because the qualities which we think we lack, are projected onto others unconsciously. 

It is therefore not difficult to see that perhaps most men tend to feel more comfortable exemplifying Mars, whilst most women will associate with Venus. And the reason for this comes down to what is regarded as the social norm, and what is determined as culturally or socially acceptable despite that we think men and women should be equal. Men are probably expected to be more assertive and women are expected to be more sensual. And when some of us do step outside of our zones, they end up manifesting entirely the other. This happens occasionally when men are totally disconnected from their Mars, and women from their Venus. So this still does not change the fact that we project the part of us (whether Mars or Venus) that is disowned onto partners whom we choose to complement us.

It is possible to integrate both Mars and Venus by first acknowledge the existence of both within ourselves. I cannot help but wonder, once we have embarked upon this process, what would it mean to the dynamics of our existing relationships? If I reclaim back the Mars that has always carried out by you, you must be impacted in such a way to also identify with your Venus in order for the relationship to still remain (or should I say, evolve). Or maybe we will be attracted to very different people for very different reasons.

I cannot comment on if this is better, and it may just be up to the individual to realise how important the journey of becoming whole or complete within themselves is. 

However I do believe that men are able to be more sensitive without becoming effeminate, and women can be less passive yet remaining feminine. And I feel more inclined towards this, and through transforming ourselves, we can bring along others to grow and become with us.